Real and virtual dating

In modern life, we do a lot of things without leaving the computer or using a mobile phone. We buy things in virtual shops, tickets for airplane, book a hotel room and many other matters we solve online. Even searching for a loved one – we trust the Internet. Of course it’s perfectly normal to get acquainted absolutely everywhere.
Online dating has many advantages. These acquaintances have no boundaries, the distance for them is not a hindrance. And if you know foreign languages, you can get acquainted with people with whom it is possible in real life would never have met. In the modern world, when life passes within the framework of a house-work-house, and communication takes place only with colleagues, the Internet is a window into a big world. And you choose with whom and when you will communicate.
But dating on the Internet is of course and minuses. The main disadvantage of virtual communication is illusions, they are often a cause for deep disappointment. If, after a long online communication, the first meeting is appointed, we have certain hopes for it. However, if instead of a sweet girl comes a fat woman with tired eyes, and instead of a self-sufficient man, some type that is not our hero of the novel … It is disappointing how we would not convince ourselves that we are ready for various surprises.
Psychologists advise: first of all, in the search for new acquaintances to determine their desires and motives. If you are thinking for example, so I’m scared to imagine that I’ll be alone again. “I want to make sure that I still attract men.” “I’m the only one of my friends who’s alone.” If at least one of the above motives made you say “yes, that’s it”, then you are not ready to start new searches. If alone you are unhappy, no man will help. This does not mean that you should drop your hands and just go with the flow. It’s just that you need some time to rebuild your attitude to this life situation. What to do in this situation?
Firstly, you need to relax and give yourself an installation: I’m young (it’s necessary to speak at any age), beautiful, quite content with my fate. Me and one is quite a wonderful life. But it would be better if there was a person with whom I could share all my joys.
Secondly, we must throw out of our lexicon phrases of this nature “I’m waiting for a long relationship”, “I have serious intentions,” just forget them. Even if you do not say it, the subtext is always clear. Men are frightened off, even if they have the intention to get married. Meetings, appointments, courtship, flirting is an exciting exciting adventure, you can say the game. And how should you relate to the game? That’s right, not serious.
And, thirdly, first move away from your computer, look around yourself with wide open and interested eyes. Each of us is surrounded by people – friends, colleagues, neighbors. Psychologists recognize the ten types of men available on the horizon for each woman. One throws you to work, another gladly chats with you for coffee during the break, the third willingly repairs your computer, and the fourth asks to look after his cat, going on vacation. This list can be extended to infinity. Do not ignore these little signs of attention. Behind them may be hidden interest in you, alas not every man ventures to express it openly. As soon as you look at the men around you in a new way, you will see other perspectives. Your main goal should be “Why not talk to a nice person?”. With this approach, you both do not owe anything to each other, and this in turn leads to ease in the relationship. Only you both decide if you are right for each other, and how your relationship will develop further.
And if you look around and see no one, and get acquainted very much want, then the Internet – this is a great place to meet. Many are so much easier to overcome the barrier of shyness. You are sitting at the computer, and there is no need to hurry. But real life often does not have time to think and weigh. You practically do not leave the comfort zone, there are dozens, if not hundreds, of candidates in front of you, and in connection with this the price of refusal is small. You can filter out completely unsuitable candidates, and then appoint a meeting.
In the case of finding a partner, you do not always realize what exactly you need. Rather, almost always do not realize. The decision to stop the choice on a particular candidate is based not so much on an informed choice as on the unconscious information that is enclosed in the manner of behavior, smells, pheromones and even in a thousand of all the psychological mechanisms programmed into us by nature. As trite as it sounds, but all this has only one purpose: the product of healthy offspring. So far, no methods of communicating this information have been invented either by chat or by Skype.
That’s why lengthy correspondence on the dating site, culminating in a happy end, is not due to, but in spite of this. And they are the rare exception that confirms the rule. And since our decision on the conformity of the partner occurs at a subconscious level, there is no reason to waste our time on long and meaningless correspondence and “communication”. Of course, if your goal is to find a partner, not “communication”. As a rule, in our desire to “get to know each other” are the mechanisms of fear. Fear of the obscure and before leaving the comfort zone. So we delay the moment of contact, although sometimes one glance at the questionnaire is enough to understand – we are interested in continuing the communication or not. Fears about all kinds of maniacs are removed by one or two correctly posed questions with a test for adequacy. And the bulk of inadequate people have very well learned to hide their inadequacy by correspondence. Moreover, the longer you communicate with them, the easier it will be for them to hide it.
Let’s draw conclusions:
1. Getting acquainted through the Internet is normal. In this Internet is neither better nor worse than any other place of communication.
2. Due to a number of its features, the Internet is great, and for many in our time – even the best place to meet people.
3. The purpose of using dating sites and other virtual platforms should be initial acquaintance, screening out not suitable candidates, with the fastest possible transfer of virtual communication with suitable candidates in the real format.
No matter which way of dating you choose. Remember that there is no place where you can not meet! Good luck to you!